Life isn’t always a ‘bowl full of cherries’.  Things don’t go the way you’d like them to go, or you find yourself in a messy situation and wish you hadn’t acted or said what you said.  You might even realize this as it’s happening, but it’s too late.  What was said was said.  What was done was done.  With life’s, messy situations that you find yourself in, come any number of negative emotions: sadness, frustration, anger, depression, guilt, fear, etc.  What can you do the next time you find yourself in an unpleasant, messy, life situation?

Here are my thoughts ….  It’s important that you feel your feelings related to the problem situation.  At first, feelings may be bubbling, firey.  That often seems to happen due to the escalating emotions of those involved.  So feel them.  Feel them safely: move them, voice them, scribble them….  You don’t want the energy of those negative feelings to get stuck in your body.  When things settle down inside, take an honest look at what happened, your role in it, and be with it.  If you feel that an apology needs to come from you, do so.  Seek quidance if needed.  Decide how best to deliver your apology: in person, phone call, card, note via text or e-mail.  Every situation is different and so decide what is best in your particular case.  Do what you feel is right in reaching out to repair the connection(s) and see what happens.  Ideally, your regret will be acknowledged, and you’ll all be able to move forward together in a good way.  That would be the best outcome!

There may, however, be times when that doesn’t happen, when your efforts are not acknowledged.  This can be discouraging, especially when you wish to get things back on track.  Perhaps, the following thoughts will help you.

First, accept that you have done what you could to right the wrong and reconnect.

Second, know that in any messy situation those involved could not have been any different than the way they were at that moment in time based upon: who they were then, what their history is, what their biology is, what their emotional state was, what their awarenwas was, and a myriad of other factors.  Therefore, holding onto negative emotions doesn’t help because those involved couldn’t have done things differently at that time.  It’s a waste of time and energy and drags one down, and if you’re already down, it doesn’t make sense to go deeper into the abyss.  Learn what you need to from the situation and move on with grace.

How does one move forward?  Accept, accept the new norm.  Accept what is.  Let go of the unresolved situation and those involved with loving forgiveness; they did the best they could at the time.  Forgive yourself for your part in the situation.  Love yourself for your sincere efforts.  Then, accept life as it is now, internalize the lesson(s) learned, look for the positive that comes out of the negative, and move forward in your life to happier days.  Who knows, maybe, down the road, a shift may take place and your connection will be renewed.  One never knows….

Love and light,

Sandy